Commitments are made by an intricate web of feelings and these sustained feelings lead to the birth of emotion “ we wrongly call it to love”.
Marriage is a contract between two parties, Contract of commitment.
Even general live affairs or dating are a way to sign an invisible contract of various ill emotions of loyalty, responsibilities, likings. It’s like running a business in the certain norm of fixed timings and certain behaviors; business is lasting because varieties would keep coming and we remain oblivious to the boredom of the business.
In commitment business, new things don’t happen because we kill chances of new happenings by restricting each other.
- We seek in commitment and seeking becomes suffering,
- Seeking is beautiful when there is no commitment like seeking the life, seeking for blessings.
- We cannot seek in love. In love, expressing is the key.
If we start expressing in love, whatever we feel, how we see the life, expressing our happiness, joy, vibration, and expressing everything we are experiencing.
- Seeking from a partner is only possible in contracts
- Seeking is sucking
- Expressing is giving with no ulterior motives.
- Marriage should not happen if there is even an iota love between two.
- Love is not an emotion that develops with an intricate web of feelings.
You see a beautiful flower and you fall instantly in love without seeking pros and cons. But you don’t hold flower to remain fragrant for you only. You invite others to participate in that beauty of your love with a flower.
Similarly, if you invite everyone or just yourself expressing your love for someone, you don’t suck or create sufferings for him or her.
We make a mistake that we confuse love and commitment as part of a single unit. They are not; Commitment is a too social norm for the survival of human race.
Love is too important for the beauty of universe to feel and express your inner universe to others. Mistake is; Mixing love and commitment with each other. It is like water and oil put into the same container.
Alone water is valuable and the oil too. But mixing wrong made a waste ugly foul smelling product.
Dating is a phenomenon to know each other, expressing each other, exploring each other and be one with each other for a moment.
Dating too is not love as we had named it before meeting of two unknown souls as “ Dating” and dating is too corrupted as it also fall under rules and norms.
These social norms for male and female as shown by capturing claps from prestigious world hid the utter stupidity of human love.
Norms are essential and are the developed part of human race, collective norms or unconscious collective archetypes, made a human race to progress to such a phenomenal developed race. Whereas other animals though follow certain norms but they have a conscious motive of it. They help each other, secure each other and deal is straight.
Prestige is social norm which we need to earn and it keeps us away from doing things that can be harmful to the human race.
In humans, social norms, let’s say, Prestige (complex, unconscious one), keep us refrained from bullying, dominating and taking advantage of the weaker even when stronger has all the remedy to destroy the weaker.
Altruism is another social norm which when practiced may lead to prestige.
In dating, non-verbal expressions should take priority over verbal language
The concept includes facial expressions, eye behaviors, touch, use of space, and everything we do with our voices besides uttering words: tone, timbre, volume, and speaking style.
The love of Mars & Venus ballet, Mars performs to portray gallantry, respect, ardent love and adoration, while Venus shows bashfulness, reciprocal love, and wishful looks. The message is beautifully portrayed to have an understanding of non-verbal language.
Why we date, what are hidden motives to date, sex and mating are obvious out world motives.
More Deeper lays the ‘personal secretary’ of every one of us. This personal secretary smartly continues the conversation to meet the ultimate desire to mate. During the active phase of personal secretary, there is bragging, showing off, and pretention to lead from other in a subtle way. Mating seems to be an ultimate motive but this is in fact not the reality. The more hidden motive is how to be prestigious in dating time. Speaking takes over the listening. We out flood our values in the world.
Dominance over other in dating is mostly hidden and comes in glimpse while there is a silence, and silence easily breaks as counterfeit lecture again starts from another one. This race continues until we mate and mate and mate. Mating becomes boring after repetition because you are eating the same dish every day. The same stuff of stories, same reactions, same arguments, and same comfort, kills the beauty of gentle touch of dating.
This does not mean you need to frequently change your dish, but you can change the flavor, taste, smell, style, and crisp of the dish. Now it is no more the same dish.
Similarly, we stuck in dating to courtship and we keep serving ourselves as an old rotten dish, we same conversation, similar emotions, similar reactions and similar encroachments to take over other in our own way.
To be dating stuff, there should be new, fresh fragrance from you. Expressing and just expressing your fragrance and freshness makes you alive every time.
Break boundaries of seeking in dating or courtship, create limitless possibilities to express and explore from each other and from the surroundings of the universe.
Osho Clinic (Psychiatry & Psychology)